The Story of a Farmer's Daughter
by Miss Wallflower
Summary: (Based on R&H's Oklahoma) Millie is a farmer's daughter living in Oklahoma territory... watch her do crazy things to get a "date" for the box social!
1. Default Chapter

The Story of A Farmer's Daughter

The story of _Oklahoma _told from the point of view of Millie, an alleged extra and made-up character

Prelude

The whole town's in a fix tryin' to get ready for the Box Social. Girls are packing boxes and tyin' 'em with special ribbons so their beaus'll know it's their box to bid on. Boys are roundin' up money to bid on the boxes or otherwise just doin' their usual farmin' and ranchin'. All the adults are worryin' about the serious aspects of the event, the money bein' raised for the schoolhouse, things like that, or tryin' to get their sons 'n daughters together. Me, I'll be fixin' a hamper of course, but I don't expect it t' get bid on very high.

It's no big secret I'm not a great catch for a boy. Haven't had a beau, even anythin' resemblin' one, since I was six 'n I'd pretend I was marryin' my friend Victor. Even he's takin' my friend Emily t' the box social. I never really liked him 's more 'n a friend, of course, but it's sorta disheartenin' to know even my last-chance beau's taken. Seems there's never enough boys t' go round fer all've us girls.

Back a while ago me 'n some of my friends started a club 'f sorts- no real title, but we were united 'cuz we didn't have beaus. Emily an' Nancy an' Grace an' Lynette an' Eliza an' Naomi an' I. Naomi's the youngest, only thirteen, Nancy an' Grace an' Emily're fifteen, Lynette an' Eliza're sixteen 'n I'm seventeen. The oldest 'n the most lackin' in suitors. One by one they're gettin' beaus an' I'm left behind. Nancy ain't got one yet, neither's Eliza... but they've got boys comin' round to their doorsteps even still. I try not t' be jealous of th' girls with beaus, I tell myself my time'll come- it just hasn't come yet and sometimes I just get real envious of the girls whose time's come. I'm 'fraid time'll run out before I find a beau.

Well, I may not have a beau, but everyone's welcome at my house any time, n'matter if'n they're from a farmin' or a ranchin' family. That stuff don't bother me 't all. Most've th' girls've taken me up on th' offer, even Laurey Williams 'n her friends. Kate, Ellen, Virginia, Vivian an' Aggie. They're sorta the girls in town who everyone knows, n'matter what, 'specially Laurey. She's sorta the town beauty, I guess y'could say, got men fallin' at her feet. 'Course, everyone knows the only feller she cares for's Curly McLain, one've the "cowboys", but they're both too stubborn t' admit it, leadin' each other on an' playin' games with each other's minds.

'Course, maybe th' lack of boys is cuz've Ado Annie Carnes, th' daughter've one've the town's most important figures, Andrew Carnes. Ado Annie's known t' flirt with anyone 'f the opposite sex- but she's 'specially leadin' on Will Parker, the town's pretty-boy. Nearly every girl in town's had a crush on Will at one time or t'other, even me, 'cept I grew outta that real fast. He's purty fine lookin', but not too bright. There's these twins, Lurlene an' Lucy, an' they follow him everywhere he goes, 'cept, 'course, t' Kansas City. He went there fer a rodeo, talkin' 'bout how he's gonna get fifty dollars so's he can marry Ado Annie. Th' funny thing is, Ado Annie ain't missed him a bit- this Persian peddler-man called Ali Hakim's been in town and she's taken up with him, flirtin' with him like you wouldn't believe. She's never been much've a looker till this year, but now she is 'most all the boys'll flirt with her.

Funny, really- I've always been _pretty_, 'least my parents and friends say so, but boys just don't flirt with me. I'm not an awful cook, an' I can sew okay, and I'm polite and nice, but somehow I just don't appeal to 'em. Betcha I'm gonna grow up t' be the town old maid, all gossipy and involved in everyone's business cause I don't have none of my own, like Laurey's Aunt Eller. Not too bad a fate, 'cause everybody loves Aunt Eller, but I don't wanna miss out on fallin' in love. Everybody I know that's fallen in love's seemed like they was havin' so much fun I wanna see what all the fuss's about.

My ma always tells me, "Millie, one'a these days some fellow's gonna fall in love with you and sweep you off your feet, don't worry," but I'm worryin' all right. I'm seventeen an' never had a proper beau, where Laurey's hardly older an' she's got two fellows fightin' for her, and Ado Annie's just my same age and she's had more beaus than I can count. I ain't askin' much, just for a fellow t' give me a chance. If he falls in love with me, then I'm all set! Walk me right down the aisle and I'll marry 'em 'fore they can change their minds.

I made my dress for the box social special. Ordered the fabric outta the Sears catalogue, and spent hours sewin' it real pretty. If nobody asks me I'll just go by myself an' wear my pretty dress- but there's still a whole mornin' an' afternoon left 'fore the box social, still plenty'a time for someone t' ask me. I'm just hopin' that someone will, so's I don't have t' stand on the sidelines and look like I'm totally ineligible for marryin'. I'm 'fraid of that happenin'. I don't wanna hafta go by myself an' wait for nobody t' bid on my basket.

Well, that about does it. Just went on down to the general store t' get a ribbon fer my hair, an' I saw Nancy doin' just the same thing. She told me Tom went all th' way out t' her farm t' ask her t' the box social t'night. She's about as excited as she could be- she don't really like Tom all that much but she's like me, she don't wanna seem ineligible or nothin'. I'm real happy fer her, a'course, but I can't help feelin' jealous. Nancy's got a beau, an' Grace's goin' with Wilbur, an' Emily's goin' with Victor, an' Lynette's goin' with Chalmers, an' even Naomi's goin' with Sam. Eliza an' I are the only ones of us seven girls left without beaus. A pair of old maids.

Wait a second- I got an idy! Oh, lordy, if only Eliza'll agree! I pay for my hair ribbon an' dash right on outta there, runnin' fast as I can all the way t' Eliza's, my heart poundin' with excitement as I think up my plan.

I dash up the path, findin' Eliza sittin' on the front porch readin' a book.

"Hi, Millie," she says, eyein' me up an' down. "Why're ya in such a hurry?"

"Oh, Eliza, I got an idy fer the box social! You don't got a fellow takin' you, do ya?"

"No," she says cautiously. "D'you?"

"We-_ell_... no. Not yet, but I got an idy, now just listen, okay?"

"Okay."

"Okay," I begin, an' the words just tumble outta my mouth. "D'you think maybe you could dress up like a boy, an' say you're a fellow from Claremore come t' take me t' the box social?"

Eliza bursts out laughin'. "What? You crazy, Millie?"

I shake my head no. "I ain't crazy! It's just, I'm seventeen an' I've never had a beau b'fore. I just don't wanna seem like I'm ineligible for marryin' an' destined t' be an old maid!"

"Why d'you get t' be th' girl?" she asks.

Sighin', I look down at my rather substantial chest. "D'ya think I could really pass m'self off as a boy? Not t' be mean, but you ain't exactly as, well, _curvy _as I am."

"Ya mean, I get t' be th' boy cause I ain't got a chest t' speak of?"

Turnin' red, I mumble, "Yeah."

"Well..."

"Oh, please, Eliza? It means so much t' me! I cain't look like I don't got a beau- it just cain't happen! I'm gettin' t' the age fer gettin' married, an' I wanna seem suitable fer it."

"An' I ain't?"

"Eliza, you got a whole year more than me! Please! Please please please?"

"Oh, all right, if it means s'much t' ya."

I throw my arms 'round Eliza, exclaimin', "_Thank you_! Oh, you don't know how happy I am you agreed t' this!" I sit down in the chair next t' hers an' begin tellin' her how it's gonna work. "Ya need a boy name."

B'fore I can say any more, Aggie, th' youngest a' Laurey's friends, comes on up the lane.

"Hi, Aggie!" I call out to her. Of all Laurey's friends, I'd say I know her th' best.

"Hi, Millie!" she calls back, comin' up on th' porch t' sit with us. "Y'heard all the girls're meetin' at Laurey's 'fore the box social? All the gals from Bushyhead're gonna be there too."

"Oh, really?" I ask. "How long've y'all been plannin' this?"

"Oh, just came 'bout yesterday. Aunt Eller's idy, a 'course."

"'Course. Good ole Aunt Eller, never gonna leave nobody out, not even the gals from Bushyhead," I reply. "Well, that sounds like it'll be fun. Guess our fellows'll hafta take us an' wait about till we're all ready?"

"Why, you got an escort?" Aggie eyes me suspiciously.

Glancing at Eliza with a grin, I say, "Maybe," real coyly, causin' Aggie to pry.

"Whaddya mean, maybe? Either a yes or a no! You got a beau or not?"

"We-_ell_... yes!"

"Who?" Aggie asks, real curious-like, like she didn't think I could snag myself a feller.

"Well," I begin with a smile, "His name's Benjamin an' he's comin' down from Claremore just t' take me. I met him last time I went up there with my pa." I make it up as I go, flushin' with excitement an' nervousness.

"Oh, Millie, you're so lucky! Ellen an' Kate an' Virginia an' Vivian an' I, we're all gonna go an' hope somebody bids on our baskets, an' if they don't, well, we'll just dance with each other." One of Aggie's admirable qualities: she don't seem t' care if she's got a beau or not. Wish I could say th' same. "Whatta 'bout you, Eliza? You goin' with anybody?" Aggie asks.

"Naw, I don't feel s'good," she lies. "I'm probably just gonna stay home an' hear 'bout it from Millie."

Not completely untrue.

"Oh, Eliza, you hafta go! It's gonna be so much fun!" Aggie pleads. N'matter her nicey-nice tone, I can tell what she's thinkin': _Poor Eliza, don't got no beau, nobody t' take her t' the box social, so she's stayin' home 'fore people c'n feel sorry fer her_. Oh, what Aggie don't know!

"Naw, I really don't feel good," Eliza says. "But y'all have fun."

"Well, okay, if ya insist," Aggie shrugs. "C'mon, Millie, I'll walk you home so's you can get ready for this mystery date of yours."

"Just a second, I hafta tell Eliza somethin'," I lie. "Meetcha at the end of th' path." Aggie nods and begins to walk down. I lean in an' whisper t' Eliza, "Pick me up at my house 'round three so's we can get down to Laurey's for this party the gals're havin'." I stand up an' start catchin' up t' Aggie, wavin' at Eliza and smilin', "Hope you feel better!" Oh, I am such a liar!

I turn to Aggie and we begin to chatter companionably as we walk in the direction 'f my house.

"Say, d'ya know who's takin' Laurey t'night?" I ask, figurin' if anyone'd know it'd be Aggie or one of the other girls in Laurey's posse. I can't help it- I'm a compulsive gossip! Gotta know everythin' 'bout everyone. "I heard Jud was gonna ask her."

"He prob'ly will, but I hope he don't." Aggie shudders as she continues. "He ain't right in his head. Once I stumbled inta his smokehouse on accident, an' all th' walls were covered with pitchers a' naked women."

"Really?" I gasp, only a l'il bit melodramatic. I ain't all naïve like some'a th' girls in town. I know 'bout burleeque theaters an' those 'pitchers a' naked women' as Aggie says. I got friends that're boys. They tell me things- and I pick up easy.

"Really," Aggie nods. "He ain't good enough for Laurey."

"Jud kinda gives me th' creeps," I admit, hushin' my voice 'case someone decides t' eavesdrop on us.

"Me too," she agrees. "He just ain't right in the head."

"No, he ain't." I pause, then lean in with some real good gossip. "An' did ya hear 'bout Curly, poor thing? He ain't heard 'bout Jud wantin' t' take Laurey t' th' box social. I heard him tellin' Slim he's gonna go over an' ask Laurey t' go with him. He was talkin' 'bout some real fancy rig he's rentin' from Claremore t' impress her or somethin'. He'll do anythin' to win that girl over, I tell ya, even though he's aloof as can be 'round her."

"Oh, poor Curly!" Aggie exclaims. "Oh, I hope Laurey goes with him and not Jud! Everyone knows, Laurey Williams an' Curly McLain are meant for each other. I wish they'd just stop bein' s'darn stubborn an' admit they love each other."

"They have been leadin' each other on for an awful long time," I agree. "Hey, speakin' of leadin' people on, you heard 'bout Ado Annie and the peddler-man?"

"Huh-uh," Aggie says, curious.

"Well," I whisper, real confidential-like, "I heard her tellin' Lucy and Lurlene that she's tuck up with him, an' he took her for a carriage ride, an' told her she was his Persian kitten, an' he wanted t' ride to th' end of th' world with her."

Aggie's eyes are wide. "Really?"

I nod solemnly. "Really. Ado Annie thinks he wants t' marry her."

"Does he?"

I shake my head no. "'Course not. He just wants ta use her an' flirt with her. In fact, he don't wanna marry her one bit. 'Less he and Will Parker just switched places, that is. He's shore gonna be in fer a surprise when he sees her flirtin' like mad with the peddler-man. Th' whole reason he went t' Kansas City was so's he could win some money t' win Ado Annie from her pa."

"Poor, poor Will!" Aggie repeats.

"Yeow, you know it!" We've got to my house by now, an' we're just standin' in the front, talkin' up a storm. I figure I oughta finish up my basket, so I say, "Well, Aggie, see ya at Laurey's. I gotta go finish fixin' up my hamper, y'know. For _Benjamin_."

She smiles that confidential girl-talk smile, "'Course ya do. See ya at Laurey's!" And with that, she's off, no doubt thinkin' 'bout all the gossip I just told her. See, I always know the gossip, n'matter what. Just cause I don't have no beau doesn't mean I don't know 'bout everyone else's. It ain't just boy-talk I know either, it's everything: friends who're mad at each other, th' latest trends from the Sears catalogue, anythin' and everythin', I'll know 'bout it. I sorta make it my business t' know everybody else's. Maybe that's why none'a the fellows wanna be my beau, they think I'm too nosy. But I'm not, really, I'm just real involved in everyone else's lives. I never pry or nothin', just hear things an' see things and put two and two together. All the girls know they can come t' me for gossip or advice- just cause I don't have no beau doesn't mean I don't know how t' give advice 'bout anyone else's, or fer that matter how t' give advice 'bout anything.

That's prob'ly how I know s'much 'bout Laurey and her boy-trouble, and Ado Annie and hers. Cain't help knowin' things, can't help talkin' t' Laurey's posse, as Aggie always calls the five of 'em, can't help hearin' and seein' and understandin'. I ain't naïve, not one bit. Maybe _that's _why I don't got no suitor- maybe they like 'em naïve. I hear you ain't supposed to pretend to be something you ain't though, so pretendin' to be naïve won't help me either. Well, if any 'f th' boys like me an' they're just too shy t' say so, let's hope having Eliza/Benjamin as my "beau" tonight'll get 'em jealous enough t' do somethin' 'bout it. I cain't have her cross-dressin' every time I need a date, now can I?


	2. At Laurey's

At Laurey's

"Benjamin" comes 'round my house 'bout three, sittin' in her pa's surrey. I'm waitin' out on the front porch, my basket right near me. I told my folks 'bout the little scheme I got up my sleeve, so's they don't worry too much 'bout their l'il girl goin' off with some Claremore boy. T' tell the truth, it's a big, big lie. I ain't been to Claremore but once, an' I didn't see no boys who'd want me the whole time I was there.

Playin' their part, my ma and pa wave me off, sayin' they'll see me later t'night at the box social. I wave 'em back as I prance down t' Eliza's surrey, swingin' my basket, hopin' I look pretty as can be. My folks said so- but they sorta hafta say that.

On the way over t' Laurey's house, we rehearse our story. She's called Benjamin, an' she's from Claremore, where her pa owns at the hotel. She's nineteen, two years older than me, an' someday she's gonna take over ownin' the hotel. Talkin' ain't a problem; Eliza can talk low like a boy an' always has been able to. She can sing real low too, which'll sure come in handy, as our town has a habit of breakin' out in song. Sorta one of our l'il quirks, I guess you'd say.

The only people that know our plan are our parents, Victor, an' Emily. We had t' tell Victor an' Emily so's "Benjamin" would have some boy t' talk with an' not look like a right fool, an' so Emily could spread the word through all the girls that I'm comin' to the box social with a Claremore boy. Now if _that _ain't excitin', I don't know what is! 'Sides, if'n we didn't tell _somebody_, I do think we might just combust!

We pull up t' Laurey's house just as everyone else is. 'Fore anyone sees us, I hiss in Eliza's ear, "'Member, just act like you's a fellow," then straighten up real fast an' start gigglin' like she just said somethin' real funny. She helps me outta the surrey real gentleman-like, an' I hop out daintily, carryin' my basket. I stuck some real pretty flowers in it, and ribbons 'round the handle, so's it looks real nice.

True t' their word, Victor an' Emily wave us over as they're gettin' out of their buggy. Victor an' Eliza/Benjamin shake hands like boys are known t' do while Emily an' I gossip like girls oughta.

Everyone comes strollin' up t' Laurey's house, laughin' an' talkin' with each other. I spot Ado Annie an' Will, lookin' like they're 'bout ready t' kiss each other, an' I'm leanin' in t' whisper this t' Emily, when they're interrupted by a loud, unfamiliar laugh. Startled, they run off behind Laurey's house just as she an' Aunt Eller're comin' out the front door. I turn to see who the laugh b'longs to- it's a tall, fashionably dressed girl hangin' on Curly's arm, parasol in hand. Oh, no! Laurey must'a accepted Jud's invitation 'stead 'f Curly's, cause now he's here with this girl, whoever she is.

Oh! I know! It must be that Cummings gal everyone's talkin' about. Gertie. Her pa owns the store in Bushyhead, an' she's just about as fashionable an' obnoxious as can be, not t' mention a bigger flirt than Ado Annie. Can't believe Curly's takin' _her_ to the box social, when he an' Laurey're so perfect for each other.

As we stroll up the lawn, we all begin to sing, the low voices 'f the fellows mixin' with the high ones of the gals. _"Oh, what a beautiful mornin', oh, what a beautiful day. I got a beautiful feelin' everythin's goin' my way.Oh, what a beautiful mornin', oh, what a beautiful day. I got a beautiful feelin' everythin's goin my way."_

As we finish singin', we settle ourselves on Laurey's lawn in l'il clumps. Eliza an' Victor an' Emily an' I are sittin' with Naomi an' Sam an' Lynette an' Chalmers an' a cowgirl named Victoria who's 'bout fourteen, I'd say, an' Laurey's friends Kate, Ellen an' Vivian. As Aunt Eller an' Curly talk 'bout horses an' wagons, Vivian whispers t' me, "Who's the fellow?"

Smilin', I whisper back, "His name's Benjamin, an' he's from Claremore."

Her eyes goin' wide, she repeats, "Claremore? What a long way!"

Quickly realizin' my slight accident in sayin' he's come from s' far away, I cover, "Well, his pa's in town fer some business. He runs th' hotel up there, y'know."

"Really!" Vivian says, soundin' surprised. "What a catch!"

'Fore I can continue this conversation, Lynette pokes me in the shoulder an' Vivian an' I turn to see Gertie hangin' all over Curly, tellin' him she "jist love to watch the way he handle horses". It's all I can do t' keep from burstin' out laughin'- till Curly looks over at Laurey, real sad like, an' says, "'At's about all I can handle, I guess." Oh, poor Curly... an' poor Laurey. Poor both of 'em.

"Oh, I cain't believe that, Curly- not from whut I heared about you!" Gertie exclaims, flirtin' with him like nobody's business, lettin' loose with that _laugh _again as she pulls him off in the direction 'f the horses. Mischievously, Emily imitates her laugh, gettin' a rise outta the whole crowd. Eliza, actin' like a true beau, takes a hold of my hand real sweetly as we sit on the lawn.

"Looks like Curly's done tuck up with that Cummings girl!" Lucy and Lurlene cry impishly, lookin' in Laurey's direction t' see if she'll say somethin'.

Sure enough, she exclaims, "Whut'd I keer about that?" Everyone breaks out in whispers.

"Why's she insist on actin' so coy 'bout it?" Naomi whispers. "Everyone _knows _she an' Curly like each other." The rest of our little cluster nods with agreement.

Savin' Laurey's feelin's in a quick move, Aunt Eller says, "Come on boys, better git these hampers out under the shade where it's cool." All the fellows pick up their girl's hamper, an' if the girl ain't got a fellow some fellows – like "Benjamin", such a gentleman, takin' Vivian's an' mine – take theirs too, an' make an exit. She pats my shoulder as she leaves, smilin' at me real nice, causin' Vivian t' nudge me with approvin' glances. All th' girls gather in two clumps, me sittin' on th' ground in front 'f Laurey's bench with Victoria an' Naomi on th' bench an' Lurlene standin' behind us. Kate an' Ellen an' Vivian an' Emily're standin' near Laurey's porch.

Laurey walks through the two groups 'a girls, singin' real nicely 'bout her love life. The greatest thing 'f all 'bout when our town breaks out in song 's that all've us can sing, an' there just happens 't be music n'matter where we are or when we sing. _"Why should a womern who is healthy an' strong blubber like a baby if her man goes away? A-weepin' an' a-wailin' how he's done her wrong, that's one thing you'll never hear me say!"_

Laurey weaves between girls, as if t' say, "Don't worry if your romance life's a dud! It'll get better, I promise!" in that way she so often has. All th' girls listen t' Laurey cause when she's got somethin' t' say it's usually pretty smart advice. _"Never gonna think that the man I lose_ _is the only man among men.I'll snap my fingers t' show I don't care."_ She snaps her fingers, her arm raised in the air. "_I'll buy me a brand-new dress to wear._ _I'll scrub my neck and I'll brush my hair_ _and start all over again."_

With admirable confidence, Laurey whips a handkerchief out from her dress and begins sashayin' with it, back and forth in front of us. Kate, Ellen, Vivian, Virginia, Aggie, Lucy, an' Lurlene have gathered in the center, an' they begin swayin' their handkerchiefs with Laurey as she sings. The rest of us, in two circles, me, Emily, Lynette, Naomi, an' Victoria on one side an' Susan, Nancy, Grace, Susanna, Lydia, an' Marthaon th' other, rock from side t' side.

"_Many a new face will please my eye, many a new love will find me. Never have I once looked back t' sigh over th' romance behind me. Many a new day will dawn before I do." _All us girls put our hands on our hips an' bounce up an' down a bit in syncopation with the mysteriously appearin' background music, then resume swaying as we had been doing before.

"_Many a light lad may kiss and fly, a kiss gone by is bygone, never've I asked an August sky 'Where has last July gone?' Never've I wandered through the rye, wonderin' where has some guy gone- Many a new day will dawn before I do!"_

We repeat the hands-on-hips bouncin' (me feelin' like two rather specific parts 'f my body're bouncin' the most) and the mysteriously appearin' background music changes a bit 'fore returnin' to the melody, this time all Laurey's posse singin' with her, now us girls in the circles walkin' counter-clockwise as we listen. _"Many a new face will please my eye, many a new love will find me._ _Never have I once looked back t' sigh_ _over th' romance behind me._ _Many a new day will dawn before I do."_

Once again we bounce, our hands still on our hips, an' Laurey commands the attention of all've us again, singin' a new refrain. _"Never've I chased a honey bee_ w_ho carelessly cajoled me_. _Somebody else just as sweet as he cheered me and consoled me!_ _Never've I wept into my tea_ _over the deal someone doled me."_

Almost reverently, Laurey's posse all sing, stoppin' th' rest've us from doin' anythin', _"Many a new day will dawn!"_

Laurey tops her friends, singin': _"Many a red sun will set!_ _Many a blue moon will shine before I do!"_

Our two circles switch places, walkin' through each other and sayin' hi, as Laurey's friends begin t' sing again, as Laurey walks across in front of her posse, primping and pretending she hasn't a care in the world. _"Many a new face will please my eye, many a new love will find me. Never have I once looked back t' sigh over th' romance behind me. Many a new day will dawn before I do. _

_Never've I chased a honey bee_ w_ho carelessly cajoled me_. _Somebody else just as sweet as he cheered me and consoled me!_ _Never've I wept into my tea_ _over the deal someone doled me. Many a new day will dawn!"_

Gatherin' all've us t' her like she's spreadin' the word of Jesus Christ Himself, Laurey lets her voice soar an' we all listen to her, agreein'. _"Many a red sun will set!_ _Many a blue moon will shine before I do!_"

One last time, we bounce, still in that little cluster 'f Laurey-worship, then we start scatterin'. I cain't help but notice Virginia drops her handkerchief- but she's gone th' other way 'fore I can catch her. As I'm leavin', Lynette grabs my arm an' starts askin' me questions 'bout "Benjamin". Oh, glory, the attention sure feels good.

Y'know, I think it's real great Laurey's sayin' all this stuff 'bout how women don't need men- but I know it's just t' cover fer bein' upset 'bout Curly bringin' Gertie t' the box social, an' her havin' t' go with Jud. But really, whut else c'n she do t' save face?

While walkin' 'bout Laurey's yard, I've regaled the story 'f mine an' "Benjamin"'s meetin' t' first Lynette, then Nancy an' Grace an' Susan, then Victoria an' Martha an' Susanna an' Lydia an' the twins, then Laurey's posse, till I'm nearly tired 'f tellin' it. I cain't help but wonder 'f I'm settin' myself up fer more trouble than I want.

Well, too late now. I told Virginia she left her handkerchief back at Laurey's front lawn, an' she asked if I could be a dear an' go fetch it for her. 'Course I would, figurin' I'd use the opportunity t' see how Eliza's copin' with bein' a boy. I told her just t' stick with Victor, an' he'll make her fit in. Lynette an' Naomi an' Emily an' Grace an' Nancy agree t' go with me, figurin' they'll check up on their beaus too, make sure they ain't carryin' on with a cowgirl or nothin'. We're all walkin' round the side of the house an' we hear th' boys singin', with more 'a that mysterious background music, _"It's a scandal! It's an outrage! Any farmer will tell you it's true!" _

An' then Ali Hakim, the peddler, starts sayin', _" A rooster in a chicken coop is better off than men. He ain't the special property of just one hen!_" All us girls look at each other, thinkin', _Well, well, are our little farmer boys rebellin' or somethin_'? We sneak up behind 'em as all the boys sing, _"It's a scandal! It's an outrage! It's a problem we must solve! We gotta start a revolution!"_

Our hands on our hips, we smirk at 'em an' belt, _"All right, boys, revolve!_" They turn 'round, startled, an' one by one we chase off our fellows. Eliza dashes off when Victor does, so I'm left desperately chasin' Slim, who I know came with Susanna the cowgirl. I always say Slim's a very well adjusted farmer- he's in love with a cowgirl, an' he don't let it bother him none, an' he's always helpin' out cowboys. He looks quite startled as I chase him behind Laurey's house, so I make sure t' tell him it was just cause all the other fellows already ran off an' he was the only one left. Poor Slim, I think I skeered him silly.


	3. The Box Social

The Box Social

We all ride in our surreys t' Ike Skidmore's place. He's takin' Susan t' the party, even though he must be at least thirty years her senior. But at least she's got a fellow, right? Funny what a gal'll do to look marriageable.

Joe brings his guitar an' starts playin' as we all skip onto the front lawn 'f Skidmore's. All th' couples partner off an' do a part two-step, part polka, the girls droppin' their hampers on the sidelines with girls who don't have dates. "Benjamin" an' I dance real lively, lettin' out little "Whoo"'s or "Yee-haw"'s like everyone else, both of us grinnin' from ear t' ear, till Ado Annie's father Andrew Carnes motions fer everyone t' step t' the sides so's he can sing. The cowboys go on one side an' the farmers on another, Naomi an' Sam, Mike an' Lucy glarin' at each other cause they bumped into each other while they were dancin'. "_The farmer and the cowman should be friends, oh, the farmer and the cowman should be friends. One man likes to pull a plow, the other likes to chase a cow, but that's no reason why they can't be friends!"_

All the girls with beaus go out and dance by ourselves while Carnes sings a refrain. _"Territory folks should stick together, territory folks should all be pals. Cowboys, dance with the farmer's daughters, farmers, dance with the rancher's gals!" _Our beaus come find us an' we all dance, joinin' Carnes's refrain. _"Territory should stick together, territory folks should all be pals. Cowboys, dance with the farmer's daughters, farmers, dance with the rancher's gals!" _Naomi an' Sam bump into Mike an' Lucy again, an' Carnes points us all back t' the sides while Cord Elam tries to calm down Mike an' Lucy, an' Wilbur soothes Naomi an' Sam.

"_I'd like to say a word for the farmer!" _Carnes sings.

"Well, say it!" Aunt Eller exclaims from amongst the cowboys.

"_He come out west and made a lot of changes," _Carnes continues.

"_He come out west and built a lot of fences," _Will Parker sings, right in Carnes's face.

"_And built 'em right across our cattle ranges!" _Curly adds, puttin' his arm 'round Will.

Carnes scoots away from them, continuing to sing. _"The farmer is a good and thrifty citizen!_"

"He's thrifty, all right," Joe says, over the strum of his guitar. Carnes glares at him and continues singing. _"No matter what the cowman says or thinks. You seldom see him drinkin' in a barroom!"_

"_Unless somebody else is buying drinks!" _Curly shouts, gettin' laughs from the cowboys an' annoyance from the farmers. Me, well, I'll admit it was a l'il funny- but it was uncalled for an' mean-spirited.

"_The farmer and the cowman should be friends, oh, the farmer and the cowman should be friends. One man ropes a cow with ease, the other steals her butter and cheese, but that's no reason why they can't be friends!" _Carnes sings.

All us couples get up an' dance again, all've us singin', _"Territory should stick together, territory folks should all be pals. Cowboys, dance with the farmer's daughters, farmers, dance with the rancher's gals!" _When we're all done dancin', Emily an' I sit down an' let our dates lean on us.

Aunt Eller comes to the center an' begins t' sing next. _"I'd like to say a word for the farmer!"_

"Oh, you would," Sam shouts, just tryin' t' get a rise out of her I guess.

"_The road he treads is difficult and stony," _Aunt Eller continues, ignorin' Sam. _"He rides for days on end with just a pony for a friend."_

"_I sure am feelin' sorry for the pony!" _Ado Annie calls out, gettin' glares from all the cowpeople an' chuckles from all the farmers.

"_The farmer should be sociable with the cowman," _Aunt Eller sings, _"When he rides by and asks for food an' water. Don't treat him like a louse, make him welcome in your house!"_

Angrily, Carnes pulls Ado Annie away from Will Parker, singin', _"But be sure that you lock up your wife and daughter!_"

"Who wants an ole farm womern anyway?" Cord Elam asks, causin' Emily an' I to trade angry looks.

"Notice you married one so you could get a square meal!" Ado Annie shouts over her pa's shoulder. It's true; his wife Lydia did used t' be a farmer girl, 'fore they married. Cord Elam's a hypocrite.

"You can't talk that-a way about our women-folk!" Slim exclaims.

"He can say what he wants!" Will Parker screams back. An' before our eyes, all the fellows ('ceptin Joe, who just goes on playin' his guitar) start fightin' each other, punchin' an' kickin' an' just 'bout everythin' else. Lynette an' I exchange terrified glances, screamin' along with all th' other girls. Eliza don't know how t' fight, an' I'm worried she's gonna get hurt or somethin'. I see some girls hidin' their faces on each other's shoulders, an' some girls just screamin' bloody murder. All us girls start singin',"_The farmer and the cowman should be friends, oh, the farmer and the cowman should be friends." _ We're 'bout t' continue, but we hear a gunshot. Ev'ryone freezes mid-air, an' I see Aunt Eller's th' one with the rifle. Looks like she stole it offa Carnes.

"Nobody's gonna slug out nothin'. This here's a party." She pulls Carnes away from his frozen fight, sayin', "Sing it, Andrew. _Dum tiddy um tum tum!"_

Hesitatingly, Carnes sings, _"The farmer and the cowman should be friends." _Aunt Eller strolls around the circle, pointin' the rifle, an' slowly we all un-freeze an' join in. _"The farmer and the cowman should be friends. One man likes to push a plow, the other likes to chase a cow, but that's no reason why they can't be friends!" _

"Benjamin" takes my hand as Ike Skidmore joins Aunt Eller an' shouts, "An' when this territory is a state, an' joins the union jist like all the others, the farmer an' the cowman an' the merchant must all behave themselves an' act like brothers!" Everyone nods along, like sayin', _This makes sense._

"_I'd like to teach you all a little sayin'," _Aunt Eller sings. Reverently, we all hum, _"Ooh-oooh." _Aunt Eller continues, _"An' learn the words by heart the way you should." _We _"Ooh-oooh" _again an' cluster 'round Aunt Eller. _"I don't say I'm no better than anybody else-" _she pauses to let us think on this – _"But I'll be damned if I ain't just as good!_"

"_I don't say I'm no better than anybody else, but I'll be damned if I ain't just as good_!" we all repeat lustily, then pair off an' sing an' dance, _"Territory should stick together, territory folks should all be pals. Cowboys, dance with the farmer's daughters, farmers, dance with the rancher's gals! Territory should stick together, territory folks should all be pals. Cowboys, dance with the farmer's daughters, farmers, dance with the rancher's gals!" _

We erupt in cheers once th' song is all done, girls goin' over t' grab their baskets from the sidelines as Ike Skidmore says, "C'mon, everybody, it's time t' start the box social!"

"I'm so hungry, I could eat a gatepost!" Cord Elam says.

Steppin' out've the circle, I ask, "Who's goin' t' be the auctioneer?"

Immediately, I feel silly fer askin', cause everyone shouts, "Aunt Eller!" _'Course _she's gonna. Silly me.

"Aw, let one of the men do it," Aunt Eller says, playin' coy, tryin' t' fetch some praise. It works- the crowd starts shoutin' out all sorts of things just t' get her t' do it. It's what she wants out of 'em, you can tell, an' she finally pretends t' give in. "All right, here's the rules. Y' gotta bid blind. You ain't supposed to know what girl goes with what hamper. 'Course, if your sweetheart told ya hers'd be done up a certain way with a special kind of ribbon, well, that ain't my fault!" The crowd laughs. "C'mon, let's auction th' hampers on the other side of the house and work our way 'round. Let's go!"

Whoopin' an' hollerin', we all walk 'round the house t' where th' hampers start. Never mind that all the gals're carryin' their hampers with 'em, so it don't really matter _where_ we start auctionin' them off.

Surprisingly, "Benjamin" has t' fight a bit fer my hamper. Guess havin' an out-of-town city boy makes me seem like a real good catch all've a sudden. Tom, who didn't come with a date, gives Eliza a run fer her money. 'Course, Tom bids on just 'bout all the farmer-girls' hampers, never mind we all have beaus. I think he oughta stop wastin' his time with us taken girls an' start biddin' fer some cowgirls, but I guess to each their own.

By the time we work back 'round t' where we started, Laurey's caught up with us. She an' Jud were late comin', an' I still haven't seen head nor hind a' Jud. Laurey seemed real spooked. Cain't help wonderin' what made her so. Musta happened on th' way here, I guess.

As fate'd have it, th' only hampers that ain't auctioned off yet're Laurey's an' Ado Annie's. Aunt Eller starts th' bidding on Ado Annie's first. Slim starts it off, biddin' "Two bits". He always, _always _starts at two bits, just t' get th' biddin' rollin'. Th' only girl's hamper he's actually pursued is Susanna's, an' that's cause he's sweet on her. It's like _Romeo and Juliet_- lovers from opposite sides of society. Farmer an' cowgirl.

Cord Elam bids "Four", never mind his wife.

"Whatta 'bout you, peddler man?" Aunt Eller asks, tryin' t' get Ali Hakim t' bid on Ado Annie's hamper.

"Naw," he shrugs nonchalantly.

"_Come on_," Carnes hisses, pointin' his rifle at Ali Hakim's back.

"Six bits!" he says quickly, tryin' t' keep himself from gettin' shot. So _that's _what the boys were goin' on 'bout earlier. It's all _his_ fault.

"Six bits ain't enough for a lunch like Ado Annie can make. Let's hear a dollar." Aunt Eller suggests, ever the eager auctioneer. "How 'bout you, Mike? You won her last year!"

Very true. Mike's just one'a Ado Annie's former flames, from last summer. Funny how things come all connected: last year, Ado Annie went with Mike, but now she's goin' with Will Parker (an' Ali Hakim), an' Mike's goin' with Lucy, an' Lucy has a crush on Will Parker.

"Yeah, that's right," Mike says, pattin' Lucy so's she knows it's all right, he likes _her _better now. "Hey, Ado Annie, you got that same sweet-potato pie like last year?"

"You betcha!" Ado Annie exclaims, ever happy to rekindle a former flame, even if she's got two suitors.

"Whaddya say, Mike, same old sweet-potato pie," Aunt Eller prompts.

"I say... it gave me a _three-day bellyache_," Mike says, causin' the crowd to burst out laughin'.

"Never mind about that. Who bids a dollar?" Aunt Eller asks.

"_Bid!_" Carnes whispers to Ali Hakim.

"Mine's the last bid. I got her fer six bits," Ali counters.

"Bid a dollar," Carnes insists, pokin' Ali with his rifle.

"Ninety cents," Ali Hakim says quickly.

"Ninety cents, we're gittin' rich! 'Nother desk fer th' schoolhouse. Do I hear more?" Aunt Eller asks cheerily.

"You hear fifty dollars!" Will Parker suddenly exclaims.

"_Fifty dollars_?" I ask Grace, who's sittin' next t' me. "Where did he get fifty dollars? I thought he spent it all on presents fer Ado Annie!"

"He's crazy," "Benjamin" says. Grace an' I agree.

"Fifty dollars! Nobody ever bid fifty dollars for a lunch! Nobody ever bid ten!" Aunt Eller exclaims.

"He ain't got fifty dollars," Carnes says disdainfully. We nod along, _'course not, where'd Will Parker get fifty dollars 'round here?_

"Oh, yes, I have!" Will Parker says, producing money from his pants pocket. "And 'f yer a man of honor y' gotta say Ado Annie b'longs t' me, like y' said she would!"

"But _where's _yer money?" Carnes asks, impatient. I crane my neck to see past Nancy an' Emily an' Victor, seein' if Will's really got all that fifty dollars right there.

"Right here in my hand!" Will says, counting the money in front of Carnes' face.

"'At ain't yours!" Carnes shouts. "Y'jist bid it, didn't ya? Jist gave it t' the schoolhouse. Got to say the peddler-man still gets my daughter's hand." I frown. Ado Annie an' Will hafta be together- they're made for each other. That peddler's just a womanizer.

"Now wait a minute. That ain't fair!" Will exclaims.

"Goin' fer fifty dollars! Goin..." Aunt Eller starts.

"Fifty-one dollars!" Ali Hakim shouts. Everyone turns to look at him, stunned. _What does he think he's doin'_? I mouth at Eliza, who shrugs.

"You crazy?" Carnes screams, angrily.

"Fif-" Will begins to top Ali Hakim, but Ali Hakim stops him in his tracks. "Wait a minute. Wait! 'F I don't bid any more I c'n keep my money, cain't I?"

"Shore can," Aunt Eller grins, happily.

"'Nen I still got fifty dollars. This is _mine_!" Will says, matchin' Aunt Eller's grin.

"You feeble-minded shike-poke!" Carnes says, tearin' his hat offa his head an' throwin' it at Ali Hakim's feet.

"Goin', goin', gone fer fifty-one dollars and 'at means Ado Annie'll get the prize I guess!" Aunt Eller smiles, handin' Ado Annie's hamper to Ali Hakim. We all applaud an' cheer as Ado Annie hops over t' Will an' he wraps his arm 'round her. "Benjamin" takes my hand sweetly.

"And I git Ado Annie!" Will says cheerily.

"And what're you gettin' fer yer fifty-one dollars?" Aunt Eller asks Ali.

"A three-day bellyache?" he shrugs, causin' the crowd to chuckle again.

"Now here's my niece's hamper," Aunt Eller continues, gesturin' t' Laurey's hamper. "I took a peek inside a while ago and I must say it looks mighty tasty. Whut do I hear, gents?"

"Two bits!" Slim says, typically.

"Four bits," Joe says, his guitar still strapped round his neck. He took Lurlene to the party, an' he an' Mike're havin' a fun time keepin' their dates away from Will Parker.

"Whut d'you say, Slim? Six?" Aunt Eller asks. Slim shakes his head.

"A dollar and a quarter," Jud Fry's booming voice says as he comes through the crowd. We all whisper to each other. _What is Jud doin' here biddin' on Laurey's hamper? What does he think he's doin'?_

"Two dollars," Cord Elam says quickly, tryin' t' outbid Jud so's Laurey don't have to go with him.

"Two-fifty," Joe says.

"Three dollars!" Carnes exclaims, joinin' in Project Keep Laurey Away From Jud.

"And two bits," Jud counters, evokin' murmurs from the crowd. I cain't believe Jud has the audacity t' try somethin' like this, never mind if he did bring her. Laurey an' Curly are meant t' be, an' Jud's just _creepy_. I follow the biddin' like a baseball game.

"Three dollars and four bits!"

"Four dollars!"

"And _two bits_," Jud says, glarin' at all the boys tryin' t' outbid him.

"Four and a quarter," Aunt Eller says, desperately tryin' t' keep Jud from gettin' Laurey. She looks right at Curly. "Ain't I goin' t' hear any more?" Curly stands up like he's gonna bid, an' then he walks away.

"What is Curly _doin'_?" I ask.

"Where is he _goin'_?" Nancy adds.

The biddin' continues, Jud tryin' t' top everyone an' succeedin'. He scares everyone out of biddin' t' top him. Aunt Eller tries t' entice Carnes inta biddin' but Jud keeps toppin' him. I cain't believe it! What in the world? What does Jud think he's _doin'_?

Oh, and finally, _finally_, Curly returns, sellin' his saddle t' Tom an' his horse Dun t' Cord Elam. He's _crazy_, but he'll do anything t' win Laurey away from Jud. Thank God!

Jud reveals he's been savin' fer two years t' bid on Laurey's basket an' bids all the 42.31 'at he's saved. Curly takes out his gun, an' we all gasp cause we think he's gonna shoot Jud, but he sells it t' Joe, an' so he has 53 to bid, more than Jud, an' he wins Laurey's hamper. Oh! After all the tension, we're all so happy Curly's won Laurey for good.


	4. A Bachelorette Party

A Bachelorette Party

Oh, you'll never believe it! Curly an' Laurey are _engaged! _Oh, how exciting! They're gettin' married in just a couple a' days, an' Ado Annie had the idea that all we girls have a bachelorette party fer Laurey. All the men're off havin' a bachelor party fer Curly, so why cain't we have one fer Laurey?

We all show up at Laurey's 'bout eight, giggly and giddy. Laurey's the giggliest of all. I guess all buddin' brides are. Ado Annie shows up last. When we ask her why she's late, we just have t' look at her an' realize she's _drunk! _In fact, she holds up a bottle've whiskey she stole from her father, invitin' us all to take a swig. One by one, we drink th' whiskey, th' sour-tastin' alcohol gettin' us all a bit tipsy. Laurey gets t' finish the last've the bottle off, gaspin' for breath when she's done.

We all clap and cheer for her, yee-hawin' an' whoopin' as Laurey gets in touch with her inner bachelorette. Oh, gracious, we are all drunk. Ado Annie produces more whiskey and we drink eagerly, clappin' for each other as we take sips. I sputter a little with my second sip, my eyes wide an' shinin'. "Whoo-ee!" I shout, tiltin' my head t' the air.

"'At's th' spirit, Millie!" Ado Annie screams, takin' th' bottle from my hand an' givin' it t' Martha. Poor thing, she's only twelve, an' quite a lightweight. She's more tipsy than most've us put together. In fact, Lydia an' Susanna hafta take her off t' get some air while the rest of us enter Round Two of Laurey's bachelorette party.

Another thing Ado Annie stole from her father was his rifle. She shows it to us flashily an' then pulls th' trigger, sendin' a bullet out inta the distance. Cain't be a good thing with all've us drunk, but we all grab at the gun anyway, beggin' t' take turns shootin' things. Nancy hits a tree, an' Lynette hits a bush, but th' rest've us cain't hit a thing t' save our lives.

When Aunt Eller finds us, Virginia an' Victoria are spinnin' round in circles, their dresses spinnin' out so's you can see their bloomers. Susan's just taken her skirt off all together, an' Naomi an' Nancy an' Grace are layin' on the lawn with their skirts splayed out. Lynette an' Eliza an' I are collapsed on Laurey's bench. Laurey an' Ado Annie are drunker than th' rest've us put together, an' Aunt Eller takes them in a house for a serious talk.

If the bachelorette party is this exciting, I cain't _wait _fer the wedding!


End file.
